Deadpan Greeting Cards
Showing all 56 results
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“Now Can You Start Sleeping Please?” 1st Birthday Card
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“You’ve Kept Them Alive For A Year. Congrats.” 1st Birthday Card
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“But I Still Don’t Trust You To Vote” 18th Birthday Card
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“You Are Now Theoretically An Adult” 18th Birthday Card
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“You Can Now Do Everything You Did Last Year” 21st Birthday Card
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“If You Were A Dog, You’d Be Dead” 21st Birthday Card
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“Sexual Prime” 21st Birthday Card
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“Let the Balding Begin” 30th Birthday Card
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“Please Buy Trousers That Fit Now” 30th Birthday Card
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“The Fun To Hangover Ratio’s About to Tip” – 30th Birthday Card
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“Too old for fun. Too young for wisdom.” 30th Birthday Card
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“40 Is the New 39” 40th Birthday Card
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“Life Actually Began at Birth” 40th Birthday Card
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“Maybe You’ll Finally Grow Into Your Face” 40th Birthday Card
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“This Really Highlights Our Age Difference” 40th Birthday Card
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“You Are 40 and You Look It” 40th Birthday Card
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“Perhaps It’s Time to Reconsider Your Wardrobe” 40th Birthday Card
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“Even Botox Won’t Help You Now”- 50th Birthday Card
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“Goodbye to Sitting Down Without a Grunt” 50th Birthday Card
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“Too young to retire, too old to…” 50th Birthday Card
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“Start filling your house with cats.” – 60th Birthday Card
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“It Was Fun While It Lasted” 60th Birthday Card
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“Remember when we used to have fun? Didn’t think so.” 70th Birthday Card
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“Bottom Of My To Do List” Belated Birthday Card
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“This card is late because I seldom…” Belated Birthday Card
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“Cancel Everything” Baby Card
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“I Hope You Didn’t Like Sleeping Together” New Baby Card
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“It Will Now Take Two Hours Just To Leave The house” New Baby Card
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“Happy New Dog” Pet Card
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“Good Luck Getting Your Internet Working” Housewarming Card
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“Culture Swap” Housewarming Card
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“Maybe You’ll Be In The Other 50%” Engagement Card
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“Astonishingly, I Have Remembered Our Anniversary” Anniversary Card
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“I Am Still Not Prepared To Hug You” Pandemic Card
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“You Have A Nice Face” Just Because Card
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“Happy Menopause” Just Because Card
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“You Make A Nice Sandwich” Just Because Card
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“I Lkie Yuor New Gslasaes” Just Because Card
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“I’ve Still Done More Stuff for You” Thank You Card
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“Merry Family Argumentsmas” – Holiday Card
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“Merry Over-Indulgence” – Holiday Card
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“Now We’re Even” Just Because Card
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“Remarkably, We Are Still Together”- Anniversary Card
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“Congratulations on your new haircut.” – Greeting Card
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“You are quite good at parking.” – Greeting Card
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“You Have A Unique Dress Sense” Greeting Card
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“You’re Beautiful. In Your Own Way.” Just Because Card
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“This card has not made you feel better, but…” Get Well Card
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“You’re The Best Friend I Haven’t Alienated” Friendship Card
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“Your Cooking is Passable” Just Because Card
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“Dumping That Loser” Congratulations Card
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You Are a Frequent Topic of My Therapy” Just Because Card
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Inadequacy & Impending Mortality – Birthday Card
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“Congratulations on confirming your sexuality.” Greeting Card
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Ongoing Existence – Birthday Card
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“Phone Upgrade” Congratulations Card
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